Dear digital friends,
As 2017 comes to a close and many of my friends, including expats, reflect on past year, I’d like to shine some light on the other, untold side of those stories.
To be honest 2017 was an awesome year, but that is purely because I sacrificed 2016. When you move abroad for the first time, you’ll fill your social media with awesome imagery and stories, which makes total sense as you explore nature, discover new places and meet new friends. What bothers me is that you never get to see the moments inbetween those images.
Your first year of living abroad will be lonely, especially for a social animal like myself. You have no one, and the only way you’ll meet people is to step way, way out of your comfort zone. Where at home you’d walk into your favourite bar and run into numerous people you know, here you’ll awkwardly sit by the bar alone many times before you end up befriending locals, if ever.
Part of this is caused by a language and/or culture barrier. The mistake I made is thinking there wouldn’t be any, but I was pretty naive in that regard. If you were to move from Europe to Asia, you’d expect a big culture shock and adjust accordingly. My advice would be to do the same when you’re for example moving within Europe.
Subtle differences make all the difference. Where a direct Dutchman might spontanioisly confess his love on date number six, a Dane might not say the magic words to his/her partner until several years into the relationship.
Luckily you’ll never be the only one going through this. There are always other internationals around who’ve been through similiar situations, and those are the people you’ll end up befriending. International friends are friends for life. Even when (not if) they move away, and you feel like you’ve invested in a friendship in vain, these friends will always welcome you with open arms. I can now honestly say I have friends all around the globe, and I’ll try to visit all of them at their next adventure.
All in all I must say I have zero regrets. For every negative emotion I’ve gained a positive experience in return, which helps in exploring who you really are. I can and will recommend it to anyone, as long as they are not expecting a polished Instagram story. There will be sad tears (2016), and afterwards there will be tears of joy (2017). Who knows what 2018 brings, but as long as tears of any kind are involved, I’ll know I’ve been truly alive. *barf*